Enthusiastic Sobriety Sexual Assault Support

Sexual Assault Survivor Organizations

  • Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network - Drug and Alcohol Support Group for Young People

    Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network

    RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE, online.rainn.org y rainn.org/es) in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country and operates the DoD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense. RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help survivors, and ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice.

  • 1in6 Drug and Alcohol Support Group for Young People

    1in6

    If you’re a man who has experienced sexual abuse or assault, you’re not alone.

    We’re here to support you in your path to a happier, healthier future.The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences live healthier, happier lives. Our mission also includes serving family members, friends, partners, and service providers by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

  • FORGE Drug and Alcohol Support Group for Young People

    FORGE

    FORGE reduces the impact of trauma on trans/non-binary survivors and communities by empowering service providers, advocating for systems reform, and connecting survivors to healing possibilities. FORGE strives to create a world where ALL voices, people and bodies are valued, respected, honored, and celebrated; where every individual feels safe, supported, respected, and empowered.

  • ME TOO Drug and Alcohol Support Group for Young People

    me too.

    The healing journey is not a linear one; you may start, stop, and then start again. Your path is YOURS — no matter where you enter or exit, be encouraged in knowing that you’ve made it this far, and there are resources to keep you going. These tools were created with survivors in mind and heart, from advocates, organizers, wellness circle facilitators, and journalists. Each toolkit focuses on topics that are critical to the healing process.

Insight Staff Survivor

When discussing "No Victims, Only Volunteers" at Pathway, a former counselor explained to group members that there's a huge difference between someone's Grandma getting raped by a home intruder and a girl who willingly puts herself in that position by going to a party and drinking too much. Clint Stonebraker and his wife, Wendy, defended rapists during an Insight staff purpose. They explained that rape is far from the worst thing that can happen to a woman. This conversation was part of a larger topic, which was centered around how we need to make sure we stay strong, or else we'll crumble like "snowflakes."

Sexual Assault & PTSD

Content Warning: Survivor Experience

  • Full Circle Program Survivor

    I was told that my clothes invoked sexual assault and was told that me being in a “bad place” attracted this kind of negative attention.

  • The Pathway Program Survivor

    I am a rape survivor & was told I was raped because I invited it into my life and it was my fault. I was 12. if I didn't accept responsibility for the rape, I would not stay sober.

  • The Cornerstone Program Survivor

    Frank Zachta told me it was my fault for being raped as a child and my PTSD was me being a volunteer.

  • The Crossroads Program Survivor

    I was raped by group member who I was dating. The female sponsor I had talked to her staff sponsor, Kate Klein, who then told me to "let it go", and fight back next time.

  • The Insight Program Survivor

    Staff told girls that we shouldn’t say no to a guy if he is “spiritually doing well.”

    Staff also discouraged me being a virgin and telling me it’s weird to not want to have sex with my boyfriend yet (I was like 15/16)

  • The Crossroads Program Survivor

    In general women got set up with men and we didn't feel like we had a choice. I was on steering committee and got set up with someone by staff and they pushed us dating and having sex very hard. I never even liked the guy.

  • The Cornerstone Program Survivor

    There was a girl in my group who shared a story of her rape. The counselors used it against her, saying she shouldn't have gotten so wasted. It was brought up many times after. Anytime she expressed a moment of weakness or wanting to get high, staff would remind her that she would just be setting herself up to be raped again.

  • The Crossroads Program Survivor

    Clint Stonebraker and another staff member faked a rape scene and laughed about how violated the other felt, with fake sobbing.

  • Full Circle Program Survivor

    Ben Stincer dismissed my sexual assault from another group member as something that was my fault and said that he was “sick” as well and needed help.

  • Step 2 Recovery Survivor

    During the time that I was a client at Step 2 Recovery Center, one of their counselors, Adam Schwartz, privately confronted me with the question of whether or not I was flirting with him. This occurred in the car, where I had no way out of the conversation.

  • The Pathway Program Survivor

    Staff said that it would only look bad for the group if you told authorities about rape and sexual assault happening in the group. And that they are “sick” too so that’s why they raped you but they are “getting better”.

  • The Insight Program Survivor

    Guys would get away with inappropriately touching/talking to girls. No outside treatment was suggested for me when I was clearly struggling with trauma involving rape and sexual abuse. I was told to let my sexual assault go and to pray about it by Stephanie smiley and Bethany Adams.

YES! Weekly Enthusiastic Sobriety Abuse Alliance

Code of Silence

June 30th, 2021 - by Ian McDowell, YES! Weekly

While Insight executive director Clint Stonebraker did not respond to the allegations of racism and homophobia previously reported by YES! Weekly, he did to this one. “Insight has a duty to report any claims of sexual abuse or rape whether they are brought up in group or individual counseling,” wrote Stonebraker in a May 21 email. “There are no exceptions. No Insight counselor engages in any form of victim shaming.”

“Note Clint’s phrasing,” said Nickerson last week. “Yes, they have that legal obligation, but they don’t comply with it. They didn’t in my case, or the cases of 57 other people who participated in our anonymous mass complaint.”

Clint Stonebraker denied this allegation. “No, Insight does not teach that we make choices before we are born,” he wrote in a June 23 email. “‘There are no victims, only volunteers’ is a topic that was used to help people who struggle with identifying a drug or alcohol problem. To my knowledge, it is never used in the context of rape, sexual abuse, or any form of physical abuse. I have never used that statement in any context because it is so easy to misconstrue.”

  • The Pathway Program Staff Survivor

    It was often suggested by staff members that a client, who was victim of sexual assault, speak with someone in the group who had committed sexual assault in order to better understand their side.

  • The Crossroads Program Survivor

    Rosemary Roberts & her husband David always told me I am playing victim to my traumas & that I needed to turn it over & make the choice to trust & that there is always a major part to take ownership of when a women is assaulted. I was told all the time that it was my fault for the abuse that happened to me. I also was told that I was lying about my traumas by both of these counselors & that I needed to admit that I was lying for attention.

  • The Cornerstone Program Survivor

    Staff basically told me they used to rape women. Frank literally said that, minus the word rape. The girls were still conscious by the sounds of it, but definitely inebriated beyond the point of consent. And it was often implied that he regularly engaged in reckless sexual behavior to the point that he couldn't remember who he had fucked or if he had fucked the night before. This was all said very casually, boastfully even. Never with shame or regret. Never was the word rape used. Never did they own to harming women. In fact, all of these stories were used to circle back to the ways they were hurting themselves. They never seemed to make the connection that others could be hurt by their behavior as well.

  • Full Circle Program Survivor

    Staff often forced me and many women in the group to talk about assault even if we didn’t want to and when we finally did we would be slut shamed and told it was our fault and we need to forgive ourselves and the abusers. Sometimes they had nights where that would be the topic for the group and Sam Wilson would intentionally call on someone he knew had been assaulted recently and force them to share with the entire group. If they didn’t he would tell them "I guess that shows how bad you want to be here. If you don’t say anything then that means that everything you told me was a lie then." Sometimes he took it upon himself to share someone else’s story with the GROUP without them saying it was okay.

  • The Pathway Program Survivor

    I opened up about my sexual assault after about a year in the program. In outpatient, I was manipulated into believing my rape was my fault. I remember getting out and leading a girls’ meeting where I took full responsibility for my rape and spent the rest of the meeting teaching them how to hide their bodies and live in shame in order to be a ‘woman of god’.

  • The Insight Program Survivor

    I witnessed multiple girls in the group coming forward about their sexual abuse. They were told that it was their fault, or that they were lying. The girls were either punished or kicked out of the group. The guys that sexually assaulted them were never made to be at fault by the staff.

  • The Crossroads Program Survivor

    I can’t say anyone said the words “don’t report it” but the counseling from staff was always... It was your fault No victims only volunteers Etc, etc. No child (we were children) would have felt comfortable reporting. It would have been a shaming on top of shaming from the staff and then by default the group members.

  • The Cornerstone Program Survivor

    I told Jenny Gambini-Guest that I was sexually assaulted twice before the group at the age of 15 and she pretty much said that it was my fault because normal girls don’t put themselves in that kind of situation.

  • The Pathway Program Survivor

    The difference between how boys/men and girls/women are treated in the group surrounding sexual assault is significant. There was an absolute sex/gender bias and I’m disgusted how awful the girls/women were treated and shamed in the group about these traumatic experiences, and how boys/men’s sexual conquests were often celebrated. There were so many cases of the group ‘slut’ shaming and blaming the victim of assault, and I’m ashamed I didn’t see it as clearly as I can now.

  • The Insight Program Survivor

    I was raped before the group. They preached “no victims only volunteers” and I was made to think I put myself in that situation and therefore I was primarily to blame. They never offered me to report nor did I ask because of the manipulation.

  • The Cornerstone Program Survivor

    My rapist got sober in Cornerstone. A couple months later I went to get sober in the group and discovered that he was there. I told Jenny Gambini-Guest what had happened with him and she told me not to tell anyone because “he deserves a chance to get sober too”. She knowingly allowed a rapist to stay in the group with underage girls and with myself who had been raped by him. Jenny also told my sponsor to tell me to keep my mouth shut about it.

  • Full Circle Program Survivor

    The amount of trauma this has caused. Not working on real issues and being told they were never real has messed with me so hard. I'm unable to address my issues because I convince myself they're not real.

Sexual consent is an agreement to participate in a sexual activity. Before being sexual with someone, you need to know if they want to be sexual with you too. It’s also important to be honest with your partner about what you want and don’t want.

Consenting and asking for consent are all about setting your personal boundaries and respecting those of your partner — and checking in if things aren’t clear. Both people must agree to sex — every single time — for it to be consensual.

Without consent, sexual activity (including oral sex, genital touching, and vaginal or anal penetration) is sexual assault or rape.

Ever hear someone say, “Well she shouldn’t have gotten drunk?” or “Well it makes sense considering what she was wearing.” Pretty much no matter what bad thing happens to you, there’s always going to be someone that tells you that, in someway, it’s your own fault.

This terrible tendency is called Victim Blaming and it happens a lot, especially to victims of sexual assault. And while there are real psychological reasons why people like to blame victims, there’s new research that suggests that there is a way to greatly reduce the tendency to victim blame. And it’s actually pretty simple. What is it? Watch the episode to find out!

When I was in Pathway, an older boy was kicked out for having sex with a minor; however, he was transferred to Full Circle, which often has joint functions with Pathway.

— Pathway Staff Survivor

Guide to Recovery

The Cornerstone Program Survivor Story

Content Warning for discussion of rape and sexual assault.

“Two male Staff members admitted, even boasted, about raping women. They just didn’t use the word rape.

The Staff would routinely talk about how ‘fucked up’ they were in the past, but often in this really arrogant way like, ‘I was so cool, I did the most drugs and fucked the most girls. But also it was bad and ruined my life. But damn, I was so cool…’”

  • Drug and Alcohol Support Group for Young People

    What is Consent?

    Consent is permission for something to happen. When it comes to sex, consent is about all partners agreeing to a sexual act. This page looks at consent in a sexual health context and ways we can recognize, talk about, and use consent.

    Consent exists when everyone involved can willingly give, withdraw, and negotiate permission. Each person involved should feel free to share their positive, negative, and ambivalent feelings.

  • Teen Sexual Assault Resources

    Teen Sexual Assault Resources

    Agreeing to sexual activity with someone (saying “yes”, or giving “consent”) means that you have freely decided to engage in that activity. If you are pressured emotionally or physically, if you go along because you don’t feel you have a choice or because you don’t know how to get out of the situation (“coercion”), you are not giving consent. Any sexual contact that you do not consent to is sexual assault.

  • LGBTQIA+ Sexual Assault Recovery

    LGBTQIA+ Sexual Assault Resources

    Sexual violence affects every demographic and every community – including LGBTQ people. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), lesbian, gay and bisexual people experience sexual violence at similar or higher rates than straight people.

  • Why Women Go Along with Slut Shaming

    Why Women Go Along with Slut Shaming

    When a girl learns that being sexually humiliated is normal and typical, and that complaining is a risky move, she may accept her objectification with a smile. More troubling, she may become primed to accept this state of affairs for many years to come. Going along with it is also the rational course of action when you’ve grown accustomed to being mistreated but can’t name or explain what the mistreatment actually is.

  • Reclaiming Sex and Romance After Assault

    Reclaiming Sex and Romance After Assault

    From polyamory to asexuality, a genuine sense of sexuality and emotional health should belong to everyone. Survivors, however, often face higher obstacles and rockier terrain when it comes to reclaiming sex and/or romance after harm. While every situation is unique, we talked to experts and gathered answers to common questions survivors have while healing these parts of their identity.

  • How to Reconnect with Your Body After Sexual Assault

    How to Reconnect with Your Body After Sexual Assault

    It is very possible to have a great sex life after trauma. In order to get there you need to have great communication, a willingness to work on yourself, and a compassionate partner — not to mention compassion for yourself. The trauma may very well have changed your life, but you are still in there. And your capacity for a fulfilling sex life is, too.

The Insight Program Survivor

 

When I joined the program I was actively involved in pressing charges and in a court case against a man who raped me while I was drunk. My outpatient counselor spent multiple treatment plans talking about how legal action wasn’t in my best interest or his. She told me it was just harmful in the long run and the best thing I could do is give it up to my Higher Power.

I ended up dropping the charges and abandoned the case. It’s a huge regret and I hate myself for being so easily convinced to let that man run free.

Reporting Sexual Assault

  • How to Report

    If you think you are a victim of a sexual crime--you have the right to choose whether or not you want to report, and how you report--if you choose to do so. Remember--it can take time for you to process what has happened to you, and it is your choice on how/when to report; your safety and well being are the most important. If you fear that reporting will jeopardize your safety or well being--there are resources that can offer necessary support (RAINN, NSVRC) in addition to the Victims' Rights afforded to you throughout the legal process. See below to learn more about reporting and the resources available to you.

  • Victim's Rights

    As a victim of a crime, you have rights that are afforded to you by state and federal regulations; though the victims' rights do vary slightly depending on state, jurisdiction, etc., the victims' rights typically followed in each state are outlined below:

    • Right to be treated with Dignity, Respect and Sensitivity

    • Right to be informed

    • Right to privacy and protection

    • Right to Apply for Compensation

    • Right to Restitution from the Offender

    • Right to Prompt Return of Personal Property

    • Right to a Speedy Trial

    • Right to the Enforcement of Victim’s Rights

  • Mandated Reporting

    All states designate certain professionals as mandated reporters – some states require all citizens to report. A mandated reporter is one who is required by law to report reasonable suspicions of abuse. Check your state mandatory reporting laws to determine if your profession is designated as a mandated reporter. Regardlesss of the specific mandated reporter law, all adults should report suspected abuse to protect children.

    Most state law indicates that a report should be made when there is reason to believe that a child has been abused, is being abused, or is in danger of being abused. You do not need to have proof and knowledge beyond a reasonable doubt that abuse is occurring. Some state laws indicate "reasonable suspicion" as necessary for the report.

Mandatory Reporting Information

  • Arizona

    Who is a Mandated Reporter?

    • Counselors who develop the reasonable belief in the course of treating a patient, subject to the carve-outs in "Anything else I should know?"

    • Members of the clergy, priests or Christian Science practitioners subject to the carve-outs in "Anything else I should know?"

    • Any other person who has responsibility for the care or treatment of a minor

  • California

    Who is a Mandated Reporter?

    • Alcohol or drug counselors (i.e., persons providing counseling, therapy, or other clinical services for a state licensed or certified drug, alcohol, or drug and alcohol treatment program)

    • Administrators or employees of a public or private youth organization;

    • Administrators, board members, or employees of a public or private organization whose duties require direct contact and supervision of children

  • Colorado

    Who is a Mandated Reporter?

    • Licensed professional counselors;

    • Unlicensed psychotherapists;

    • Clergy members;

    • Mental health professionals;

  • Florida

    Who is a Mandated Reporter?

    • Healthcare professional or mental health professionals;

    • Practitioners who rely solely on spiritual means for healing;

    • Any person who knows or has or reasonable cause to suspect that a child is the victim of childhood sexual abuse

  • Georgia

    Who is a Mandated Reporter?

    • Child-counseling personnel

    • Professional counselors, social workers, or marriage and family therapists licensed pursuant to Chapter 10A of Title 43;

    • Child service organization personnel;

  • Kansas

    Who is a Mandated Reporter?

    • Registered alcohol and drug abuse counselors;

    • Licensed professional counselors;

  • Missouri

    Who is a Mandated Reporter?

    • Any person with responsibility for the care of children.

  • North Carolina

    Who is a Mandated Reporter?

    • Any person or institution.

  • Texas

    Who is a Mandated Reporter?

    • Any person or “Professional”

Additional Support Resources

  • Love is Respect

    love is respect is the national resource to disrupt and prevent unhealthy relationships and intimate partner violence by empowering young people through inclusive and equitable education, support, and resources.

    A project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, love is respect offers 24/7 information, support, and advocacy to young people between the ages of 13 and 26 who have questions or concerns about their romantic relationships. We also provide support to concerned friends and family members, teachers, counselors, and other service providers through the same free and confidential services via phone, text, and live chat. Call 1.866.331.9474 or text “LOVEIS” 22522

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline

    24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse.

    Contacts to The Hotline can expect highly-trained, expert advocates to offer free, confidential, and compassionate support, crisis intervention information, education, and referral services in over 200 languages.

    Call us at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788

  • Safe Connections

    The Mission of Safe Connections is to reduce the impact and incidence of relationship violence and sexual assault through education, crisis intervention, counseling and support services.

    We work to reduce the impact and incidence of domestic and sexual violence through individual and group therapy, 24-Hour crisis intervention, and prevention education programming. Additionally, Safe Connections serves nearly 20,000 individuals each year, inclusive of all genders and sexual orientations.

    24-Hour Crisis Helpline 314.531.2003

Putting the victim of sexual assault in the position to chose whether or not to kick out a perpetrator, especially with the emphasis of ruining the chance for the perpetrator to “get better” or “stay sober”, is NOT appropriate or ethical by any means. Victims, and especially minors, should be protected and believed.

As Counselors of minors in a facility, they are mandated reporters. Mandated reporters must report allegations or even suspicions of sexual assault to local state agencies and remove perpetrators from the facilities.

Drug and Alcohol Support Group for Young People

Share Your Story

If you have a story to share, a perspective to highlight, or a message to parents, staff, and group kids, please submit your story to us.

Anonymity will always be our default to posting survivor stories, unless with explicit permission from the survivor to share their story with a photo of themselves from when they were in The Program.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER

Though Enthusiastic Sobriety Abuse Alliance (ESAAlliance) is extremely dedicated to providing clear, accurate information to all users, and intends for all information on this website to be true and available--the information presented on this website may not always be accurate, available, or current. ESAAlliance is not to be used in replacement of professional legal counsel or guidance, and is not legal advice, and therefore should not be treated as such. If you have any questions or concerns about legal issues, you should consult professional legal services, such as an attorney. ESAAlliance and the information presented on this website is not to be used in place of professional legal services; ESAAlliance is not liable for the outcomes of any legal proceedings/decisions/etc. that are influenced by information retrieved from this website.